Sunday, January 30, 2011

Why You Should Add Only Close Friends on Facebook

Networking is overrated - building connections, discovering people, nurturing friendships, expanding your horizons- blah blah blah. Seriously, you can't be yourself on a social networking site. All you can only be is the good guy/girl. You cannot reveal your darker side- the one known to your parents, your close friends (when I say friends, I mean real people- people you have met and actually spoken to) and your siblings. While there's nothing wrong in being the good guy, it is a challenge to other people to find out what you're actually like. So, even you can't tell who's really nice and who's not Everyone tries to build a good online reputation, excluding myself. Everyone is being very cultured too. But honest? No one. Not even me. If I start sharing half my vices on Facebook, you'll be shocked.

The most annoying thing is someone saying something incredibly rude and sugar-coating it with a lol or a jk or a no-offence. Come on, there is always a certain amount of truth behind every joke and a certain amount of intentional sarcasm behind every prank. But, when they are made the object of sarcasm in stead- they'll fume, they'll blast, they'll explode with anger. Someone needs to teach these people how to take a joke - even though we weren't joking ;)

Coming to the point now, it's simple- when you post something on Facebook, only your close friends- friends who understand you- truly understand your purpose or intention of posting it. Even if the intention is evil, they alone will know it. They will know what's on your mind even before you say it. They will love you besides your vices- sometimes even for your vices. They are the friends who deserve to be with you and they are the ones worth caring for and worth forgiving and worth fighting for.

In the words of the great Shehla Rashid, "A true friend may not support your decisions, but supports you through them". Now, the sentence you just read, I'm pretty sure, will be successful in raising a couple of eyebrows and a huh from many- from the ones who don't know me well, those who look at me the way I want them to, those who believe in the image I choose to show them. And the ones who are close to me (say Neha) will be like, "huh, ye Shehla ki bachhi, Shehla the great.. lol.. I still like her,".

And then there are people who are hell bent upon criticizing you, being mean and sarcastic (or, maybe. it's just how I perceive them, just because I don't know them well)

There used to be a very peculiar scene in old Hindi movies- the one where a person is reading a letter from another person and the reader can actually see the writer's face and hear their voice saying the words on the paper. I would laugh at it. But now, now I know that this happens. This really happens.

There's a friend of mine who always finds my tone rude, no matter how many smileys I introduce between the lines. On the other hand, my close friends can imagine me saying those words and sense my tone and imagine my face while reading the smileys, hear me LOLing even! So, they

If I call my friend a bitch, she won't feel too bad (I do that all the time!). But if I call my not-so-friendly-Facebook-friend-who-is-a-Civil-Engineer a Civil Engineer, he will probably feel very bad. Trust me, I'm not making this up. Well, I won't mind if someone asks me to help them with their PC- that's because I'm a Computer Engineer. But, maybe, it's somehow derogatory to consult a Civil Engineering Graduate!

There is yet another type- the ones that add you; and the first thing they do after you accept their friend request is check your photos. They need to get some self-respect. Is that why you're adding someone? Downright sick!

Then there are the agony aunts- those who shower their advices in your inbox about what you should be doing and how you should be living.

Then there is the boring couple whose love life is so torn up and wretched that they don't have things better than you to discuss with each other. While they should be deciding the size of their engagement ring they're busier discussing the size of your hair (or clothes?)

Having said all this, there are still a number of people left in the world who actually know how to behave on a social networking site. They are the ones worth engaging with. Seriously, who the hell wants a person, who whines and cries and complains at the slightest slight (;)) or a person who cannot take a simple joke (but can crack lots on others), on their friend list.

I have done so much of blocking that the time for me to get rid of Facebook has finally come. Yes, I'm off facebook now. Wish you could block people in real life- life would be so much simpler!


  1. there is one more kind: the depression mongers! they will be ur friends, u myt actually know them well; but u wish you never did. wot they do is constantly update their neverending series of troubles, miseries and misfortunes, one look at their profiles and you are bound to be in depression

  2. i was playing with google and some words like kashmir, kanger etc.. and look what ive found, this blog!! lol

    nice post sheila. truely saying, i agree with u.:)

    now let me share my thought ;)
    basicly, i like to make a friendship. so if there is a friend request, i always click 'confirm'.:p
    now i hve >900 ppl in my fb acc and it just toooo crowwwdeddd for me. get dizzy sometimes. but yeahh,i will try to take a silver lining.some ppl here (in my fb acc)always post something good. i know bout what happen in ur country (kashmir) because they post about it.they open my mind,increase my knowledge.and for those ppl who always post something 'bad'(bad and useless words, example "i look great with pink!" :D) i will try to give them 'something' good(inshaAllah). i will share my thought on 'whats on ur mind' and my wall. im not hoping that they will undrstand who i am, or turn into a good person, or adore me, naaa, just hope that they will 'think' bout another issue. something 'huge',rather than their love isue, how boring their life is,what im doing today, etc..etc.
    maybe this ppl need advice from their fb frenz??lol. if i were them, i will look for my friends, or someone that i trust and ask a solution. not from fb.

    nope, i wont be like 'agony aunts'.dealing with those ppl (agony aunt,boring couple, etc..etc..)will make me, once again,'dizzy'(wanted to say 's***' but it just to ruudeee, :p lol).i dont like it, so i wont be like them.
    but yet i will look like a gud gal :->(while im not.. we all have a dark side inside us )or maybe the gal that to ********(u can put ur own word :D). i dont care. it just me, my wall and my thought. I accept criticism and constructive suggestions.other than that?crap.

    keep writing!

  3. @Anonymous
    Thanks for the appreciation. Keep visiting :)

  4. @Hazic
    Thanks for contributing to the list :)


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